#2. Here we go...

09/08/2012

I'm resisting the urge to check in on Facebook with 'Wanking into a cup at Care Sheffield'

You can tell it's not a 'normal' hospital. We're sat in the waiting room, no signs of a vending machine, just a pot of fresh coffee, which is a nice touch. But what really made me realise this place isn't normal is the fact that all (Yes ALL) the staff are smiling, happy & polite. It's like being in a parallel universe, not Sheffield.
Another thing that amazed me was that there was a sign saying they will try to see people no later than 10 minutes after they're appointment time. How good is that? your lucky if its an hour & 10 minutes late at Rotherham Hospital

So... A rather nice lady asks me to follow her up stairs (ooooh nurse!) She shows me into a little room, explains the situation. In this room there is a sink to wash your bits n' pieces & cupboard full of porn & a leather armchair, Then i get the ultimate question.... How do you feel? Well if I'm brutally honest, I'm a little freaked out! It really was quite surreal, I'm stood in a room, with a complete stranger, just before I'm about to perform an act on myself. that would probably get me arrested if I was anywhere else. She leaves me my little sample pot & closes the door behind her.
Normally, being a bloke, I wouldn't have an issue getting aroused, but not today, maybe it's the thought of having to do it on demand, i sat in the chair, & then that freaked me out further, knowing that someone else had 'knocked one out' in it. I briefly flicked though the magazines & still nothing. So anyway I'll leave the main part out, just to save yours & my sanity.
After going back down to Libby, she's already had her stuff done & was just waiting for a blood test before we could go & have our day in the sunshine, Then i get shouted through the door, 'do you want your blood testing while your here' No, why would i want such a thing? They bloody kept that quiet didn't they!
If they need to know if i have HIV or Hepatitis, all they had to do was ask, not take more bodily fluids. I think i'd have been happier if she had just punched me in the face to draw blood.
But you know what? it wasn't all that bad, I've been quite good at avoiding giving blood all my life, & now at 33, ive done it & it's easy

Now, all i have to do is wait a week for some results & another round of surreality